The Independent Life - Part 2

 Acting More Independent

1

Maintain solid friendships. You don't have to throw away your friends to be independent. In fact, your independence is reinforced with good friends. When your friend needs someone to talk to, be there for them. Be trustworthy. Do not gossip or tell anyone about your friends' secrets or personal matters. Even if they didn't say anything about it. Be a strong person for your friends and loved ones. It not only shows you're selfless, but pretty soon you'll learn how to deal with any situation that comes your way because of your friends' experiences.

 2 Become financially independent. It will be difficult because parents have a natural instinct to provide for us. Just politely decline when they offer financial help. It is tempting to depend on others financially, but before you experience independence, you must be independent. Secure your finances. True independent living relies on financial freedom. Pay your own bills, drive your own car, and sign a personal check for your rent. If you don't have the money for these expenses, save aggressively. Not only will you gain financial freedom with your savings, but the money you keep to yourself will give you an incredible feeling of independence and motivation.

3. Don't settle for anything, for comfort, for ease, or to "be nice". Work hard at everything you do. Defend your opinions. And, for you girls, don't let a man feel he has to pamper you. If you're capable of doing something good, do it. So long as it doesn't have a bad effect, you should do it. That doesn't mean do absolutely everything, but you shouldn't feel its necessary for people to do things for you that you could do for yourself. Work your best and hardest to leave people saying "That person doesn't rely on anyone to do things for them. What a strong, independent person."

4 Leave your friends and family at home when you can. This is a difficult step on the journey to independent living, but you must start doing things on your own. You do not need to drive with someone to the restaurant, because you can meet them there. Go shopping alone; spend at least one or two evenings a week by yourself. Work on activities that force you to lead, not follow. If you're used to always having a buddy when you go hiking or go to the mall, see how it feels to rough it on your own.

5 Dump the bad influences in your life. Don't break friendships unless absolutely necessary. Learn to keep a healthy distance. Even if those friends are "totally cool," they may only hold you back from breaking out on your own. "Weed out your garden"; some people make you shine, while others will stunt your growth and draw all your energy. If you have a friend who is trying to make you do things that make you uncomfortable, whether it's stealing or just being a meaner person, then it's time to cut the cord. Avoid any friends who really like building a following and having people worship them. These people will want you to only do what they say and will keep you from being independent.

6 Save money. Save as much as reasonably possible. This will help you create an emergency fund, since life can be unpredictable at times. You don't plan accidents. Improve the quality of your life by putting aside a set amount of money each month. There are such things as accidents, health problems, or even natural disasters, which can occur when you least expect it. You may not think that you have the capacity to save money, but even doing small things, like making your own coffee instead of going to Starbucks once a day, can save you over $30 a week -- that's over $1,500 a year!

7 Sign up for a bank account. Most banks offer a checking and savings account together, in one convenient package. Some companies, institutions, and organizations will require you to have at least a checking account (some only pay employees via direct deposit). Money you earn that isn't necessary for your own expenses should be put into a savings account until you're ready to be independent. Having your own bank account will keep you from depending on others for money, and will help you stay away from reckless spending.

8 Start on a career path. Experiment with different careers and find the one that you enjoy most. If money makes you happy, be an investment banker or start a small business. If you like kids, be a teacher. If you like being an expert, be a lawyer, professor or consultant. If you enjoy talking to people, be a salesperson or go into the services industry. If knowing how things work is more your game, try engineering, or Psychology and sociology. The majority of students end up in careers unrelated to their major. Some people do not get far in formal education and end up millionaires. Working in a career that you enjoy is a part of becoming a mature person.

9 Find your passion. Something you are devoted to, whether it is a sport, girlfriend/boyfriends, music, a band, a form of art/dance, religion. Something that you do constantly that takes up some time. Video games and playing Barbie all day aren't the best value out there. (This includes wasting your time on the Internet). Finding a passion will make your life feel more meaningful and will make you feel more like you know what you really want out of life.

10Plan your day around you. People who are most dependent on others allow their worlds to revolve around the needs of other people or other things. Plan your day according to your own schedule--make a list of what you want to do, what you need to do and what you should have already done. If a friend really needs a favor, fine, but don't let that friend dominate the plan you had made so carefully. Treat your alone time like it's a date with Brad Pitt. That is, guard it carefully and don't let anyone stop you from spending time with yourself.

11 Thank people for helping you. You don't have to be stubborn to be independent. If someone has really helped you out, then thank that person by giving him a sincere "thank you," writing a card, or giving him a big hug if he's a close friend. There's nothing wrong in admitting that you do need help sometimes and it won't make you any less independent to acknowledge the times when you need help.

12 Avoid trends. Just because somebody wants to pay $60 for a shirt doesn't mean you have to. Dress how you want to dress, and say what you want to say. If you like to act crazy, by all means go for it! A good thing to remember is that good taste and style does not have to cost money - it is something that is innate or learned but can make good of anything with a little know-how.

13Spend time with people with different worldviews. Hanging out with people who are just like you won't inspire you to be any more independent. Making an effort to be friends with a variety of people who all have different perspectives and occupations can give you more of a sense of what's out there and to see that there's no one way to do it right. It can be refreshing to hang out with a lawyer if you're a yoga instructor, or to spend time with a chef if you're a student. This can make you more open-minded and more willing to do something completely new on your own.